Monday 27 June 2011

She-ra I am not worthy!

It is fair to say that She-ra is my idol, she is just so kickass! When I was a kid I was obsessed with her and I had all the action figures and her castle. I was gutted when one day my Mum said it was time I stopped playing with toys and gave them away to my cousin. Well I guess she had a point as I was about 12 when she so callously stripped me of my beloved collection. Little did she know that her evil attempt to make me grow up would backfire and to this day I still play with toys…Ha-ha in your face mother! (I am such a rebel).

As you may be aware She-ra is ‘The princess of power’. I recently discovered that my name means; ‘Princess Protector of mankind’….how awesome is that? It makes me sound hardcore and is very She-ra-ish. Unfortunately, this is where any similarity I have with She-ra ends. She-ra takes no crap, is super strong (in my opinion she makes He-man look wussy), she single-handedly defeats the baddies and she does all this while still looking ultra glamorous. I on the other hand suffer from that terrible disorder known as ‘niceness’….yes I am too bloody nice and I let folk walk all over me as I have a fear of confrontation. Not very She-ra-like is it? These are just some of the reasons why I am not worthy of a comparison with Princess Adora, and yes there are many more reasons, allow me to continue…

She-ra is courageous, strong, agile, graceful, beautiful and womanly. I however am a wimpy, asthmatic, clumsy, accident-prone weakling. I also look about 12 and still get ID’d, I suppose I should be flattered by this as it appears I don’t have to reach for the botox just yet. * Note to self: pigtails do NOT make you look sophisticated and womanly.*

I am also insanely jealous of She-ra’s amazing talking unicorn, Swift Wind. The two of them fly around Etheria battling the Evil Horde, but if I was to ever get a go flying around on Swift Wind I would probably just spend my time encouraging Swift Wind to crap on people...oh come on like you wouldn’t too if you got the chance?!

Another problem I doubt She-ra has is irrational phobias. I am petrified of clowns, porcline dolls, porcline clowns and Jeremy Irons (I have no idea why but he’s just always creeped me out). I also can’t sleep without covering my ears as I’m scared that creatures (and by creatures I don’t mean gremlins, more creepy-crawlies) will crawl inside my ears and lay eggs in my brain…what it could happen! This particular phobia stemmed from an episode of Casualty I saw when I was little where an old woman had a moth in her ear. Eeeeew!

Wait, it gets worse…Now picture the scene: Enter He-man “She-ra come quick Skeletor is causing a right ruckus back at Castle Grayskull I could really do with a hand.” She-ra: “Soz bro but I’ve just had a bath and this carpet poses a bit of a threat as my feet are all wrinkly and I can’t stand that dreadful grating sensation, it goes right through me so it does.” *Methinks I got the dialogue spot on, ha-ha.*
The above really wouldn’t happen would it!? (And yes I hate the feel of wet feet on carpets, its making me shudder just thinking about it).

Basically She-ra is everything I am not. Maybe if I purchased a She-ra costume I could become more like her? ‘For the Honour of Grayskull…turn me into She-ra!’

1 comment:

  1. Believe not O Viewers for this writer doth lie! Yes, she is too nice for her own good but she is also awesomely kind, considerate, funky and fun! And I reckon she could take on baddies just as well as She-Ra. And if you ever look like you need back up, my childhood role model was Catwoman - enough said ;)

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